Mr. Bridge

You have your highs and lows

And to mention this is no joke

As perfect as any life can be

You rise and fall

As the age we see

Your long exquisite turn

That should make you proud

That makes every child scream happy

As they holler out aloud

You made everyone at ease

To travel to their destination

Then why did that tragic day happened

Oh! You are no at foul

Sure you must have fallen apart

As that car crashed at that same place

That has been the deepest longest turn so far

Your heart must have cringed

At the sound of that clash

You must have felt that derange

Skidding of the tires even in that entire crowd

Ah! How must it have been?

To have all that blood spilled on your chest

Since then you must have not been at rest

That fame you had must not please you anymore

Remember it wasn’t your fault

Don’t let your stomach go sour

These things have no one’s control 

Man makes mistakes as they say

And needs something to blame

So it’s you!

That ominous bridge now they say

And that you are cursed

But no, it’s not your fault

So you carry on like you always have

Serve them nice

Go on as this is life!

Photo courtesy Here

"She Didn't Know Me. Yet She Helped Me In My Time Of Need"

We all have been through that situation when a transgender person comes up in a bus or a train and we don’t actually want to give money. Some of us give it because saying no is difficult. Some says that their blessings are really powerful. I believe the later.

It was in 2009 when I joined college. Every second weekend I used to go home and on my return I had to travel in bus from my hometown to Delhi and then from ISBT to college. I wasn’t very comfortable travelling in local buses due to the crowd. And while coming back on Sunday I was always in that tensed mode to reach hostel on time. The entry timing was 6:00 p.m.

The first time when I was travelling to hostel I was a little scared. I boarded the bus at ISBT and it was still waiting to be occupied with passengers. I had only one thought of reaching hostel on time. Then she entered the bus and started taking money from everyone. I don’t know the reason but I always felt nice giving them money. The way they put their hand on your head and say nice words makes me feel blessed. I gave her 10 rupees and she did the same thing. After that it happened every time and it was the same her each time. I used to always take the bus at around 4:00 p.m.

Once she didn’t put her hand on my head as she was talking to her friend. So I called her and asked her for it. She smiled and did it twice.

Then after a few months, one day while going back to hostel I got very late. It was already 5:30 p.m. The bus was still waiting and I was really edgy. When it started I felt a little relief considering, “Ab bas ek ghantaa aur”. (“Just one more hour to go”) But it always takes a series of events to make it a memorable incident.

On the highway the bus broke. The conductor said that they’ll try to stop a bus and if someone wants to go by their own then they can. Everyone started de-boarding the bus. I had no idea what to do. People started taking lifts or auto. I was afraid of travelling alone in an auto on that route. So I hesitated in getting one. There were very less empty autos coming by and people were taking them all. They were asking for a higher price too. I was getting a feeling that I won’t be able to get it. I didn’t see who all were there in the bus. I got this thought that may be someone from my college can be there. So I turned to see everyone. To my luck she was there. Maybe she noticed the fear or tension on my face. I didn’t know what she was doing in the bus as she used to get down 5 minutes after the bus rode. She came up to me and asked, “Kidhar jana hai tereko”? (“Where do you have to go”?) I was a little reluctant in talking to her but seeing no other option I told her where my college was. She didn’t tell me where she was going or didn’t even ask me if she can accompany me. She went a little ahead on the road, stopped an auto and turned to look at me. She just said, “Chal aa. Chod kar aati hai mei”. (“Come let’s go. I’ll take you there”.) In an instant I did. For the first time in my life I trusted a stranger and I am really happy about it. On the whole way she didn’t ask me anything. I suppose she knew that I was distressed of travelling with her. God knows what anyone can do to me, kidnap me or what. When we reached the hostel I just told the auto wala to stop. We got down and she said, “Ja bhag jaldi. Late ho raha hai na?” (“Go run fast. Getting late no?”). I don’t know how she knew that. She didn’t even ask me to pay. I rushed inside the hostel, made an entry and then saw her from the gate. She waited for me to go in, then got inside the auto and it took a u-turn. She was going somewhere else and still she came all the way just to bring me to my place safely. I never asked her name.

Again the same routine continued. I used to see her every time in the bus. I never talked to her and nor did she. But one thing changed. Now we both used to pass a familiar smile. In her smile I could feel the assurance of her being there. Maybe it’s just my imagination.

I sometimes think about her and this incident really makes me feel happy. Every time when someone like her comes to me I feel good. I see her in them. I know I can’t trust everyone. But I like them. I am a little less scared of them then the general public.

I wish I could go back again and meet her. If I do, I’ll definitely talk to her and take pictures as well.

This article was published on 'Women’s Web' on 9th March 16.

This is the unedited version.

"Kuch udgaar hai man ke"

Kuch udgaar hai man ke

Baaton mei jo aa pate nahi

Kuch sapne hain aankon mei

Saakar jo ho pate nahi 

Soch kar dekho kabhi

Iss zindagi ka matlab

jeevan ki bhagam bhag mai

Jaan hum pate nahi 

Ek khwahish dabi rehti hai

Dil ke kisi kone mei

Apne ya paraaye mei

saanjha kar pate nahi

Jis ghar me hum hai rehte

jeevan ka tana bana bunte

Uss chhat ke niche khud ko

Khoj kabhi pate nahi

Har roz hai nikalte

Kahin phuchne ki khwahish mei

Par sukoon jahaan mile

Vahan thor hum pate nahi...

"Broken Time"

Lost in life

Heart couldn’t find

The one that’s mine

Ripped in pieces

Dreads of the day

Everything runs by

But just couldn’t find

The one for whom

I’ll melt like snow

If he’s there

I just wana know

Wait is so difficult

So I let it go

And when no hope remained

I found you

All went so fast

I fear it’ll last

And then that night descend

When nothing else mattered

Nada wrong or right

Next morning alight

When you hugged me tight

A thought came by

Trembled my soul

There’s nothing I can have

All that remained

Is some broken time...